Relationships vs. Metrics

Nick Burkholder

Which do you prefer?

The trend towards making measurement a fundamental aspect of our careers has wonderfully significant and positive implications for both individuals and organizations.  However, while it may be waning, there is a proud school of thought that you either approach work as a relationships person or as a metrics person.  And the way the argument is postured reminds me of the high school dilemma of hanging out with the popular kids or actually studying.  I for one still have regrets about not hanging out with the popular kids.

We’ve been told that “Relationships are everything” and there is a great deal of supporting evidence.  We’ve all marveled at how a relationship can quickly advance an idea, proposal, or sale that had otherwise received little attention whatsoever.  And we have also observed hires and promotions that were obviously based on relationships, not performance.  We have all seen agencies selected and searches awarded that were most certainly based on relationships.  While these offer compelling evidence that relationships work, they also suggest that there is something wrong with them.  There is the nagging concern- while relationships may be everything - maybe they shouldn’t.  Are relationships ethical?  Can they be unethical?  The military prohibition on officers fraternizing with enlisted personnel exists to preclude personal relationships and the clouding of decisions of the most serious nature.

A relationship is having a connection or an association with another person.  When people speak of relationships being everything, they are saying that the connection is the primary basis for decisions.  Not price, not time, or customer satisfaction, not even quality.  Each of these may in fact even be the best, but they are not the basis of the decision.  Rather the decision is based on the connection, which has been established through commonalities, networks, or time.

The nagging concerns about relationships evaporate when we experience the benefits of them.  It’s a good feeling.  All of us know what it’s like not to have the chance to be a contender because someone else had a relationship, and we didn’t.  It’s completely natural; we are social animals.  We prefer to socialize, work with, and hire those that we know.  Loyalty is also used to explain or rationalize relationship-based decisions.

We all have also seen conflicting and contrary evidence about the value of relationships.  I remember an incredibly smooth talking lieutenant that bragged of his ability to establish relationships and benefit from them in any situation.  He was absolutely incredible.  But his attempts to establish relationships with the instructors at Airborne School doomed him.  I’m sure he had the ability to make it, but here are obviously some places where relationship skills are not a good thing.  I also remember an Allstate property adjuster who didn’t have any kind of a relationship with anyone at the office, but he was an extraordinary claims adjuster.  We were even more amazed that feedback from the claimants was so positive.  Relationships don’t always matter.  The worst relationships skills I have ever seen – no that’s misleading – he was uniformly offensive – was the President of a Johnson and Johnson acquisition.  He insisted that he had – that there was no time for relationships.  His track record as an entrepreneur before J&J was very impressive and although he was fired from J&J, he has been a great success by any standard since leaving.  Relationships aren’t always everything everywhere.

With few exceptions there is an inverse relationship between a physician’s bedside manner,  academic and practice excellence.  When it comes to health I chose excellence.  I don’t care about the surgeon’s relationship skills.

And if you succeed by relationships you may also failed because of them.  Jobs or contracts that are relationship based often abruptly disappear when the players change.

While relationships clearly aren’t everything, their demise have been hastened by four trends:

First, relationship based decisions began to decline as more women embarked on careers.  These new career women didn’t have established relationships and weren’t exactly welcomed into the “men’s hut” where they were traditionally established, so they made decisions based on other criteria.  I also suspected that many women had to get the job done and head home to their other job so they couldn’t take the time after work to establish relationships.

Second, EEO and diversity further eroded the prevalence of relationship-based decisions.  The clearest and simplest interpretation of Title VII of the Civil rights Act of 1964 is that business decisions can only be based on defendable business reasons.  Relationships are hard to justify as the basis for making a business decisions.  And diversity initiatives, by definition, require us to work with people and organization with which we do not have relationships.

Third, technology has also played a key role in eliminating relationships from decision-making.  B- to –B auctions are just one example.  They enable purchasing decisions to be made with virtually no room for relationships.  They can make the process almost flawless: precise, fast, and well documented.

Fourth, relationships may have been everything, but the pressures of competition trump  every time.  As new markets and margins shrink, organizations are forced to make decisions on facts.  They simply cannot afford to do otherwise.  

These four trends are pushing us away from relationships as a basis of making decisions and the compelling comfort of sound data is  pulling us towards metrics.  Don’t approach your work as a relationship person.  There is no doubt that relationships have played a significant role in business but the practice was never without issues and it should be relegated to history.

While relationships should not be the basis for your approach to work, you must also not confuse relationships with consulting, contracting or sales skills.  Consulting and contracting skills are process skills, which enable you to get your customer to help you help them.  Good sales skills enable you to determine a buyer’s requirements including costs, and provide an appropriate solution in an effective manner.

Whatever your profession, whatever your level, be a metrics person.  Focus on your performance - and that of the people and organizations that you work with.Don’t be susceptible for a relationship to be the primary basis of working with you.

Metrics rule, they should because it is right and they do because they work.  But that doesn’t mean that relationships are bad or should be avoided.  The best business relationships are based on performance, documented proven performance.  It’s the best basis to establish an optimum working relationship with anyone.  And also becoming one of the popular people.